ITS ALL ABOUT ME!!

I AM A BEAUTIFUL CAUCASION/BLACKFOOT LAKOTA NATIVE AMERICAN COLLEGE STUDENT, CURRENTLY IN THE ARMY. I LIVE IN KANSAS RIGHT NOW, LOOKING TO MOVE TO TEXAS SOMETIME SOON. I EVENTUALLY WANT TO BE IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY AS A PRODUCER/DIRECTOR.

About Her

Age: 20 ( Gemini )
Looking for: Committed · Just Dating · Friends · Intimate/Physical
Marital Status: Single
Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)
Hair: Dark brown hair
Eyes: hazel eyes
Body Type: 5' 4'', average body
Education: Some College
Employment: Student, no answer on income
Profession: Entertainment / Media
Religion: Christian
Religious Services: No answer
Political Views: No answer
Smoking: Doesn't smoke
Drinking: Drinks occasionally
Kids: No kids
Wants Kids: No answer on wanting more
Groups: College Student
Interests: Community Service · Dancing · Dining · Family · Movies · Music · Photography · Sports · Theater · Travel

June 1, 2003

Scott	9	Quite simply put: “this girl makes my balls ache.” Really she does, I can't stop looking at this picture. Look at her she is damn near the total package. If she would have worn glasses in the picture I think my nuts would have popped right off. I know I should rate this girl with her ad in mind as well as the picture, but I can't seem to factor the ad in on this one. I know that she is basically yelling as us in her ad because she has everything written in all caps. I know I usually hate people that do that, but with this one I feel totally different about it (I think it’s the blue balls and hard cock talking). She is the whole enchilada. I love her so much it makes me want to manhandle myself to completion. Look at the short shorts, the smile, the tight white shirt, the eyes, the painted fingernails, the earrings, the legs, the big T.V. in the background, the little necklace, the boobs, the brown hair, the exposed shoulder, the high heels, the cute face, the sexy pose, Ohhh!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! Wow I feel better now. For my rating I’m handing out a 9, it would be lower if I took the ad into account but I had a meeting with my cock and we decide to omit the ad and stick to the picture. If she had had glasses on she would have received a perfect 10.
Steph	1.5	Okay, this Heinz 57 chick's header says it all. High maintenance-Check. Shitty clothes-Check. Pain in the ass-CHECK. I didn't know you could be a college student AND be in the military at the same time. Maybe she's taking some technical courses while IN the Army, but that doesn't mean you're a college student, honey. Besides, if you don't know how to spell caucasian, then you don't get to be one. Dig? I think she's probably a NAIVE American. What a dipshit. She's in Kansas looking to move to Texas? What the fudge does THAT mean?! And she wants to be in the entertainment industry? Well, I got news for ya fellas. She already is...as a stripper..., excuse me EXOTIC dancer. Whatever, bitch. You're gonna be knocked up with a couple of kids as soon as you move to Texas and find your redneck dreamboat. God, that photo's awful too. Could she have picked a more UNflattering shitty skirt? It makes her look like she's stunted her growth by wearing it too tight or too low. Either way, the hat needs to go too. I am making a Couch Pirate James comment by mentioning her shitty shoes too. That one's for you, buddy. This chick is not on my list. She get's a 1 for the tiny bit of effort she squeezed out of her cooch to type this shitty ad and a .5 for the photo. Final rating: 1.5
Pump	3	Plain and simple, if you have a Camaro made after 1995 you can nail this on all you want. This one has a definite future in gonzo porn. Let's go over the list, shall we? Abercrombie & Fitch bag: Puke!!! High maintenance with bad fashion sense. J-Lo look: Trashy (but sexy) Grammar: "I AM A BEAUTIFUL CAUCASION" Ummm... Does she know what race she is? Career Aspects: She better be able to put up with Joey Silvera and Ray Victory because they are going to get to fuck her a lot on home video when she makes it out to California after Texas dries up. She's hot, that is indisputable. She's also stupid, which is also indisputable. Do I even need to go ever what we think of people that use ALL CAPS AND MISSPELL EVERTING THAY WRITE? Final Score? Ummm... Let's go with 3 since we will get to see her swallow some trouser snakes someday.
Kevin	5	I bet this J-Lo wannabe will get engaged to all the Couch Pirates and break up with us before the year is over. She is cute and all but she dings high on one of my biggest pet peeves... "It's all about me"... is it? I don't think so. You better meet me half-way babycakes or you're not worth squat! You know what, I want to be a producer and director too, I want to be an astronaut as well, I also want to be the new Long Dong Silver... but I don't tell that to people in a PERSONAL'S AD! Let's just deal with reality, okay? Reality says that's she's too conceited and too vanilla for me, but I'll be glad to take some nude pictures of her for Squaw Honeypots, or just my own private collection...
Eddie	3	First of all I am not sure she has the slightest idea what Caucasian means and I am pretty sure she is very confused about her native American history. I want to say to her " being born in America and knowing how to do the tomahawk chop does not make you a native American Indian. Anyway, she dresses like J-LO but without too much booty. I think she has serious mental issues and should seek help immediately... and for Pete's sake take off that ridiculous hat. The good news is she probably will make it in the entertainment industry... can you say porn?! Anyway, I give her a 3 for the number of pulls it took her to get those booty shorts over her thighs.
Carey	6	Man where do I begin. First of all even I like a good peep show, but this girl just wants to show it all. That skirt is short as hell, and if I saw her I would try to get on it, but not date it. She is going for the whole Jay-Lo look, and it is not really working for her. Turn around, and let us see that ass, and we can tell if she really has the package. I think she is pushing out the wrong side to be going for that look. Don't get me wrong I will look at either side of her, but she just doesn't look like any military girl I have ever seen, I will give her a 1 for trying, 1 for trying to help our country, and 4 for the short skirt. For a grand Total of a 6......
Jim	7	Well this lady certainly is beautiful no matter what her heritage is. I would love to start at her toes and lick her legs all the way up and see where they meet. She has a beautiful smile but she is obviously very proud of her looks and knows how pretty she is and I just can not stand that. She seems pretty stuck on herself with that "ITS ALL ABOUT ME!!" crap. I just hate women who know how "beautiful" they are. Man that pisses me off. She is probably a real bitch. I would still do her though.Cause she looks so damn good. She says she is in the Army, in college and in the entertainment industry. How does she ever find time to get spanked? And couldn't she find a better place to have her picture taken than in a cluttered bedroom? Oh yeah, lose the goofy hat. Stop by Oklahoma City on your way to Texas and I'll give you a good ass slapping. She rates a seven.
Average	4.9	I think we can make two very clear determinations. One: She's trying to look like J-Lo. Two: She makes all the Couch Pirates think of porn.

Check out all the past Rate This Chick candidates in the Archives section.