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Sexy Freak Chick looking for
online love
Let's see... hmm... I am your average gothy/freaky chick. I love
goth/industrial music, fashion and lifestyle. So much that I
do modeling within the sub-culture. I am always looking to have
some fun, never timid, and VERY friendly!! It can be a challenge
to find KEWL guys to get to know when you are in the modelling
biz... A lot of guys can get intimidated.. BUT I AM NO SNOB!!
Looking for online fun (chat, email, whatever) perhaps mroe if
there is the right chemistry.
More about her match:
Looking for an older man preferably. I'm 18 so anyone in their
20's and above is cool. I have no real demands, since I am mainly
just looking to chat with as many people as possible... If the
chemistry is right, then perhaps more will follow in THE REAL
WORLD.. ;) I tend to be submissive, and enjoy guys who can be
a little rough and be in control. I enjoy those with an open
experimental mind... I don't like being bored...
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About Her/ About Her Match:
Age:18 ( Aquarius ) /25 - 50 ( Any )
Looking for: Committed · Just Dating ·Friends
/Any
Marital Status: Single /Any
Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)/Any
Hair: Red hair/Any
Eyes: brown eyes/Any
Body Type: 5' 7'', athletic body/Any
Education: High School Grad/Any
Employment: Works full-time, no answer on income/Any
Profession: Entertainment - Media/Any
Religion: Other/Any
Religious Services: No answer/Any
Political Views: Very Liberal/Any
Smoking: Smokes occasionally/Any
Drinking: Drinks occasionally/Any
Kids: No kids/Any
Wants Kids: not sure on wanting any/Any
Groups: No answer /Any
Interests: Movies · Music · Photography
· Religion/Spirituality /Doesn't Matter
May 4th, 2003 |
This is Pump Picks
'Em Month!!!
(So blame him if you
don't like the selections!)

Scott |
2 |
I see Pump must have picked this chick exclusively for
Kevin, I can't see him giving her anything less than
an 8. But that is him, I hate girls like this.
I dislike anyone that describes himself or herself as
a "Goth". I'm a "Goth". Are you? Why is it
all the
people you went to High School with that where nerds
or wallflowers of the school feel a need to act like
this when they are adults? All these fucking chicks
change their names to Rayne, Shiva, Desire or Krazi.
Fuck those chicks. Good lord they piss me off so bad I
could write a Research Paper on this subject. But I'll
stop right there.
For my rating, she gets a 6 for the ad because it
seems honest whether I like it or not. She gets a 1
for the first picture and a 5 on the second picture.
At least in that one she looks naughty and good enough
to bang. Making her overall rating a 6, but wait I'm
deducting about 4 points because she describes herself
as a "Goth".
Final Rating: 2 |

Steph |
5 |
Pump, you picked a chick for Kevin. Where's the one for the
rest of us to rate?
What can I say about this one? Well, nothing about her is
remotely real. Fake colored hair, fake eye color, fake clown
make-up, fake personality, fake everything. The shock value she's
going for on this is pretty low. She's nothing special in the
"goth" realm. I've seen better wanna-bes.
Her photo looks like it was taken in front of a church building,
but I'm
sure she'd tell you that was on purpose.
She's cute and looks clean in her photos. I'd do her, but
wouldn't think twice about having a "lasting" relationship
with this loser.
I'll give her a 5 for not being butt ugly like a lot of the
skanks we rate. |

Pump |
5.5 |
As far as goth broads go, she isn't so bad.
I feel like deep down below the Transmira/Goera/Bloodguzzler
schtick, there is a pretty nice looking chick here. I would
most definitely like a chance to hammer her hiney hard enough
to get her to admit her name is Jennifer Anne Thompson. I
do like the red hair, even if it came from Miss Clairol. So
since I am feeling nice this afternoon, I will give her a
5.5 for being hot under the chalky man-paint she calls makeup.
Meet Kevin's new wife everyone. |

Kevin |
9 |
Holy Nuts Ahoy! Now, I'm not sure this is an ad for a real
chick, but please, PLEASE, let's pretend that it is. This "sexy
freak chick" is the yin for my yang, the tit for my tat,
the biscuit for my gravy
if you catch my drift. She completes
me.
Not only is she outrageously gorgeous in every way that trips
my trigger, BUT she complements that with the Kabuki make-up
and naughty goth/schoolgirl thing. If I was Dr. Frankenstein,
I couldn't create a freak better than this.
I don't know what 18 year old is looking for a 25-50 year
old dude, but fine. I fall in there quite nicely, thank you.
(Thank you very much). She also happens to be a model, which
dovetails excellent with my chosen profession and she's a kinky
little minx (who really, really, needs a spanking!).
I can't find anything wrong with this chick, except for the
fact that she's not with me RIGHT NOW! Still, I'll hedge my bets
and go with a very high 9, you never know who's around the corner. |

Steve |
? |
Dirk-O-Meter Rating: JUMPING JESUS IN A BIRCH BARK CANOE YESSSSSSS!
If this wasn't a fake ad by a porn site Kevin would be on
this chick like syrup on a waffle!
Let's Check Off The Kevin Dream Girl Checklist:
#1 Funeral Parlor Make Up: Check
#2 Model: Check
#3 Goth: Double Check
#4 Shitty Lunch Box to carry her thermos of Absinth: Check
Check Check
Pleased to meet Kevin's new wife!!!! |

Eddie |
1 |
I first want to go on the record as saying I am not opposed to
goth
chicks. some of them can be very attractive. Now I am opposed
to this
girl and that is because I am not sure she is a goth chick at
all. She may
be more of a goth she/male.... If you will take a look at exhibit
two you
will see the man hands holding the Dracula lunch pale. Also absent
is
any sign of cleavage. I fear first that she is not a lady, other
than that
I just don't find "her" attractive at all. If she is
a woman she would be
a great match for Kevin but as for me I try to stay away for
men posing
as female vampires. I'll just stick to watching Buffy... I give
her a 1
for the number of spikes she has under her dress. |

Dave |
5 |
I don't like the goth look. That being said, this chick is worth
putting up with for it...strictly based on looks. The thing that
scares me
is the line about being open to experimentation. Translated that
means
that she wants to wear a strap on that is a replica of Ray Victery,
shove it to the hilt in your ass, while spanking you with a mace.
No
thanks. I'd look at her...but from a distance. She scares me,
so I'll
give her a 5. |

Carey |
8 |
I am really diggin' the whole school girl outfit. I would give
this girl
a nice 8 cause she just about has it all. If this were my girl
I would
probably stay home every night, and break out my secret cabinet
with
all of the toys, and get redneck with this chick. But the one
thing about
her that scares me is the fact that she is so open about the
whole
roughness. In my mind, I am kind of thinking that she has made
a few trips
around the neighborhood. But then again, the majority of em'
have
haven't they? I guess it isn't the 50's anymore. |
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Average |
5 |
Forget Rate This Chick, now we're playing Goth
or Not... |
Check out all the past
Rate This Chick candidates in the Archives section. |
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The Couch Pirates get a kick
out of looking at personal ads on the internet and comparing
notes. Since none of us agree on what attributes create the perfect
woman, it can be entertaining to rate them according to our own
tastes (we also encourage sniping at each other). Rating is on
a 1 to 10 system and includes both looks and the ad. Kevin picks
the chicks, so that's why the gang complains to him. Dirk is
Kevin's middle name and Steve has a theory that the Dirk half
of Kevin is evil (it is). If you would like to send us your own
ad and picture (women only) then we'll be glad to rate you as
well. Send the ad and a small picture to couchpirates@hotmail.com. |
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