Goth Baby!

 

 


Yes, I censored this photo for the public, but we love to receive nudes all the same. If we get off this server we'll start showing the whole package.
-Kevin

 

 

I'm a 29 year old escort/model/dancer who does amateur porn as a hobby.;) Looking to go professional, of course. I'm wild and adventurous, an experienced swinger and not at all shy.;)

What more is there to know?

 

How many of you ladies out there have the stones to submit your profile to The Couch Pirates and walk the plank of Rate This Chick?

We've been receiving multiple applications lately and so, to make it easier we've now got an online application.

We can't promise to be nice (some of us probably will) but we can promise to be honest.

We'll also promise to send you a banner, declaring that you were rated by the Couch Pirates, we'll eventually post you in the archives section (for everyone to see, for all time) and we'll be glad to plug any site or upcomming event you have (blog, porn business, excommunication, whatever).

Interested? Apply here.

 

July 12, 2004

 About Her

Age:29

Marital Status: Single / Divorced

Body Type: Hourglass Figure, www.ladypandora.net , go see.

Height: 5'3

Eyes: Black , not brown

Hair: Black

Ethnicity: Pure Northern Irish

Sense of Humor: Sarcastic & Dark

Social Setting: Underground;)

TV Watching: Not much of interest on these days, prefer music or movies.

Smoking: Quitting, light smoker

Drinking: Light social drinker, unless I'm feeling randy ;)

Living Situation: Ummm...I'm alive.

Have Kids: Yes, 2.

Want (more) kids: No, fixed. But, thanks for asking.

Education: University

Employment Status: Full time?- Part time? Full Time

Occupation: Model /Escort/ Porn Performer/ Dancer (Bad Girl Extra-ordinaire)

Income: Alot

Religion: Pagan. The power of christ compells you , baby. Sex...sex is a religion.

Attend Services: hehe, only on my knees, love.

Political Views: The government sucks, democracy is a dream. I'm on a mission for world domination. hehe

Astrology Sign: Virgo - The virgin (strange, no?)

Languages: English & Latin

Interests: Gothic/Victorian era, Swords, daggers, Medi-evil torture devices, >poetry, sex, fetish (I'm a dominatrix too) and checking out the antics of the Couch Pirates! hehe. You guys rock, finally....someone as sarcastic as I (devilish grin)

 Scott

2

Where to start on this one? Smoking, kids, and Pagan don't help her case, throw in the bullshit bondage lifestyle stuff and she really starts to make me mad. Most "Goths" go so far out of their way to be different if makes me want to throw up.

I love the people in the Mall that have blue hair, which would make you or anyone stand out like a white guy at a Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony concert. When you look at the person with the blue hair they get pissed off. Why is that? Well I hate to say it, but if your not from some Anime Cartoon then blue hair is different you little freaking turd. AARRGG! "Goths" piss me off. Notice how in Oklahoma we only have fat "Goth" chicks. If your fat, ugly, and female in Oklahoma you go one of two directions "White Trash" or "Goth".

I cheated in some ways by visiting this chick's website and while she is playing up the role of a bondage beauty she is very good at changing her look. Her body is in great shape for a girl with two children, and yes I think she would be a super great hiney hump. What worries me is she might want to hump my hiney. I'd would do this chick but never date her. If you're the girl that sent this in, scroll on down to Kevin's or Jim's rating, your numbers should be much higher down there. Thanks for playing.

Overall Rating: 2

P.S. I loved the nudie pic you send in. Nice boobies!!!

Pump 

7

Goth/BDSM gals really aren't my cup of tea.
Obviously, Kevin would be the natural choice for this
one. Not that I'm upset so much, but I wish we could
gotten more of an idea of what she is looking for in a
mate. Would have given me more to vent about. I am
glad however to have received a partially nude
photograph. That goes a long way with me. In fact, I
encourage more nude submissions from our female
visitors. Boobs rule.

Final Rating: 7 C'mon, she's naked.

 

Eddie

0

UMMMMMM. I couldn't even make myself look at the pic long enough to
rate her appearance. I will say that I would hate to be made of wicker.
This lady is.... well stupid. Who sends a pic like that? Oh a pagan!
Oh, and by the way I want to know if this chic even knows what a real
pagan is. She obviously has some issues. What kind of person wants to
be rated by us? Oh yes, A pagan. She is so rebellious this one. So
rebellious that she bought wicker furniture. What a rebel. A rebel that
shops at pottery barn I bet. Anyway, I give her a 0 for the amount
times I wanted to see her naked!

 

Kevin 

8

Well, this one is definately from my neck of the woods. She's a dominatrix and a wild child. She's into corsets and leather, goth stylings, and I'm not going to have to explain to her what "subspace" is. I like her delivery, which means I don't think she offends easily and I imagine that we'd get along well. There's plenty here that I find interesting...

I have to say that the first picture, while nude, and appreciated by me, was the least flattering of all the photos she had on her site. I like her look for sure, but I'd like to see her with longer hair, like in a pageboy or something (hey, I'm here to help all women with their hair, line 'em up and I'll tell you what the real deal is).

However. She has two rug rats, she's into swinging (I'm very territorial with my chicks) and she's an escort, all of which is fine, unless we're talking about getting into a relationship. She's simply TOO wild for me. I like weirdos, but I'm also very old-fashioned. I want the only key to my slut's chastity belt.

While I wouldn't mind serving her my champagne supernova, or even double teaming some innocent little submissive girlie, I don't think we're going to be exchanging rings from the "Story of O" anytime soon.

Rob 

7.5

My initial reaction to the Goth Baby was so-so. However, after reading her bio I must say she is much more interesting. Obviously she's very outgoing. Her answers are witty and reveal a person with some depth. I can deal with light smoking. Kids are a slight drawback, but after that her answers are great.
The first pic leaves a bit to be desired. I'm not big on the tattoos on the abdomen but, the overall package is nice. She just doesn't do a whole lot for me. Her website does give more to go on, and she looks similiar to the pin up artist Olivia in her facial structure. In the end this woman would probably chew me up and spit me out. While I have no doubt she has fascinating exploits to tell, she's probably a bit too much for me. 7.5

Jim 

9

First off I applaud her for having the ballz to send us her picture. I believe this is the first nude photo ever sent our way and I sure as Hell hope it is not the last. And anytime Lady Pandora would like to send us more photos PLEASE DO !!!
Well she doesn't look like any Northern Irish I ever saw. Thank Gawd! I am not usually smitten by powerful aggressive women in black leather and lace nor am I into the B \ D scene but I think I could definately convert. I think she is quite beautiful in her way and I like the fact that she is an "adaptoid" I also appreciate that she is a natural woman and has not been "augmented" in any way. In other words. . .Great titties too!!!.She says she can (and will) adapt to your personality and sexual tastes or desires. She can sure as Hell conquer my world. Maybe she could send us some copies of her porn performances???
Just from the photo I can feel the heat coming from those thighs. I can only wish she were crushing my face between them. I bet she could crack open a coconut between those thighs.The power of thighs compels me
I must admit at first glance I did not like her hair style because it looks to butch for me but I cheated and went to her website.Her hair in other photos is much longer than what is shown here and I think she is very attractive. She has a Frank Frazetta woman figure. For those of you not familiar with Frank Frazetta he is a fantasy artist of legendary stature and is famous for illustrating women that is not thin but actually fleshy and curvy in all the right places. I think she fits the leather quite nicely..
She is obviously a strong woman and undoubtedly takes no shit from anyone.. I love her sense of humor as well as the fact that she is trying to quit smoking cause I hate smokers!!!. If sex is her religion then I am on my knees at her altar of love. I wish she lived a little farther south, in order for me to pray with her quite often. If you ever make your way done here let's hook up.
She is not going to appeal to all of the Couch Pirates butt Fuck'em they don't know what the fuck they are talking about half the time anyway. Shit, I just realized I was one of 'em.
I know that she likes the satirical wit from the Couch Pirates but for the likes of me all I can do here is say what I am really thinking instead of being a smart ass.Usually when I say what I am thinking it just gets me in trouble. Well, for that you can punish me Baby!!! Spank yer Daddy. Squeeze my face with those thighs . . Hurt me Ohh, yeah Baby yeah!! Goth Baby Pandora You Rock!!!
Rave On!!!

Average

5.58

- Not a bad average for a goth chick around here. Boobs talk, bullshit walks!