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Artistic Nerdess Seeks Sexy Philosopher

I like to ask questions that sometimes don't have answers. I make mistakes. I have found the ability to laugh at myself; out loud if necessary. I like to watch people. I am artistic, witty, and intuitive. I'm sometimes very naughty. I love music and art. I like to dance. I like to organize the occasional music event or grass roots political event. I am passionate about politics. My sense of humor is sarcastic or goofy depending on my mood. I have well proportioned, voluptuous curves. I am sensual and poetic, yet serious and analytical. And though I feel secure on my own, I have to admit I really miss having someone special. My _perfect_ man... Must be real. Must make mistakes often. Must know how to make up for the mistakes too. Must be sensitive. Must be a thinker. Must ask questions. Must have piercing eyes. Must be taller than 5'9". Must be sensual. Must snuggle. Must demonstrate brains. Must laugh. Must be silly. Must be serious. Must adore me just the way I am. Must like my cat. Must like to give and get suprises. Must like spy missions. Must get it. All others need not apply!

How many of you ladies out there have the stones to submit your profile to The Couch Pirates and walk the plank of Rate This Chick?

We've been receiving multiple applications lately and so, to make it easier we've now got an online application.

We can't promise to be nice (some of us probably will) but we can promise to be honest.

We'll also promise to send you a banner, declaring that you were rated by the Couch Pirates, we'll eventually post you in the archives section (for everyone to see, for all time) and we'll be glad to plug any site or upcomming event you have (blog, porn business, excommunication, whatever).

Interested? Apply here.

August 16, 2004

About Her

Age: 25

Marital Status: Single - never married

Body Type: Voluptuous

Height: 5' 9"

Eyes: Gray

Hair: Black

Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)

Sense of Humor: Clever / Quick Witted

Social Setting: Social Butterfly

TV Watching: Movies

Smoking: Smokes occasionally

Drinking: Drinks socially

Living Situation: Alone

Have Kids: No

Want (more) kids: Not sure

Education: Some College

Employment Status: Full-time

Occupation: Artistic / Musical / Writer

Income: I'll tell you later

Religion: Christian

Attend Services: Never

Political Views: Very liberal

Astrology: Aquarius

Languages: English

Interests: Arts, Community Service, Dancing, Dining, Family, Movies, Listening to Music, Outdoor Activities, Photography, Reading, Religion / Spirituality, Theater, Travel, Cooking, Computers / Internet, Crafts, Playing Music, Health/Fitness

Scott

There are alot of things I hate about this chick. No way would I do this crazy bitch, she seems more up Steve's alley. That guy loves to ride the Crazy Train about once a year. Below are the things that bothered me the most and my comments.

1) Sense of Humor: Clever / Quick Witted
Which means she is a saucy cunt the must always get the last word, probably will get you into fights.

2) TV Watching: Movies
It’s a great excuse to eat and set.

3) Smoking: Smokes occasionally
This means you must take a shower once you get back to your home because her place is smells like a Bingo Hall on a Saturday Night.

4) Education: Some College
Quitter

5) Occupation: Artistic / Musical / Writer
She's a broke hippie chick that's trying to make it in the "Art World", with her painted ceramic cats.

6) Interests: Dining, Outdoor Activities, Travel, Cooking, Health/Fitness
In the same order: She loves to eat, She'll go outside to eat, She'll drive for food, She'll cook it and eat it, and Nope she'll never do that.

Overall Rating: 2 (Only because she has the balls to put her fat ass up and out there for the world to laugh at.)

Steph

These two photos are some of the worst. I can't even tell that this is the same chick. First of all, translation: voluptuous = lard ass. I'm sure that she's heavier in real life now than she was in these photos 8 years ago.

I don't mind what she says about herself, but she gets rather demanding when she describes her hopes in a man. I mean really, what woman DOESN'T know that men don't snuggle? Okay, except for Kevin, but he doesn't count. Women always hope for the snuggle thing in men, but it ain't there. Get over it.

Her face in the first photo looks like she should be one of the characters in Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas movie. Kinda weird with the glow of the computer illuminating her face. Why would you take a photo like that and post it on an ad?

I guess I would do this chick based on these strange photos, but I wouldn't tell anyone about it.

Clam Slam rating: 6

Pump

1.1

Well, her personality isn't the worst I've ever seen
on here. But the "very liberal" response sent her
into the bottom 10% of the broads we put on here.
Maybe the only advantage of being with her is that you
know that your razors won't end up in the bathtub.
Chicks this crazy NEVER shave. That, and you might be
able to make sweet hiney love to her. If you convince
her that banning sodomy was an evil conservative
agenda to undermine Peruvian economic progress, you
are IN. But beware... The days of a beautiful bacon
mornings are over with her, and when daddy don't get
pork, daddy leaves.

Eddie

Are the two pics the same girl? I'd date her face but the body would have to wait in the car.

Oh... I hate your cat and would sooner hit it with my car than to date you.

I Give this girl a 10... Oh that is mistake. Let me make up for that by giving you what you deserve. A big O.

Kevin

I'm knocked out of contention right off the bat. She wants someone taller than 5'9", and I'm not. In some cases that pisses me off (little fucking girls who are 4'10" and wants someone who looks DOWN on the Undertaker), but in this case (she's 5'9" herself and not a waif, by any means) I can understand how she would want someone who makes her feel protected. Fine.

It's too bad though. I suspect that I would have liked this chick more than anyone else here. She's attractive in a punkish way, she's into music and art and asking silly questions. I can tell from her delivery that we'd get along just fine.

And she's into snuggling... I like that a lot!

Oh well... find one like this who is shorter, or doesn't care and I'll rate her higher. Much higher.

Rob
	4
I do believe I am in the "do not apply" section due to my height, but that's ok with me. While this chick seems to have a good head on her shoulders, she also seems to be pretty annoying. An occasional smoker, who's very liberal and who seems to want to claim to be this AND that just really annoys me. I'm sure I could respect her for her variety and passion but, I'm also sure we would be on different sides of the fence on many issues. Her "perfect man" must make mistakes often? Follow that up with many musts and I'm suddenly very disinterested.

Steve

Jim
	1
I must give two thumbs down on this goofy nerd. Frankly she is just not that attractive and I don't think she knows the meaning of voluptuous curves. She says she is a Christian and one of her hobbies\interests is spiritual \religion but yet she never attends services. Not that I give a damn about that but sounds like most Southern Baptists I know. Y'know a hypocrite.Preaches one thing but practices another. Actually she says she is secure but she sounds very insecure to me. Her man MUST do this and he MUST do that . "Must be silly. Must be serious" Make up your mind bitch. Fuck her. I am tellin you guys . . .stay away from this one. She is trouble in large doses. I think she is a terrorist bomber. A member of the underground. I bet she even knows where Osama is hiding. I'll give her a one for the amount of pounds of C4 I can shove up her "voluptous"ass before pushing the detonator button. By the way I'll do us all a favor and shove a pound of C4 up her cat's ass too. Rave on . . .bitch ! ! !

Average
	2.73
- Okay Jim, we're calling the CIA and telling them that we've found the person who knows where Osama is... but if they're mad, we're sending them to see YOU.