I need a husband!

 

 

 

Tell Us About Yourself:

I consider myself very easy going, fun and spontaneous. I am looking for soemone who is in to me as I am them.... I was married once,dated and partied ever since my divorce, i will be 33 next month and now I am ready to have children... So I am on the hunt for somebody to do "IT" with.... I date for fun and think it may turn into something, but if I just lay it out there about what I'm looking for,,, then maybe I'll have some luck! if you're interested then send me a line ;0

How many of you ladies out there have the stones to submit your profile to The Couch Pirates and walk the plank of Rate This Chick?

We've been receiving multiple applications lately and so, to make it easier we've now got an online application.

We can't promise to be nice (some of us probably will) but we can promise to be honest.

We'll also promise to send you a banner, declaring that you were rated by the Couch Pirates, we'll eventually post you in the archives section (for everyone to see, for all time) and we'll be glad to plug any site or upcomming event you have (blog, porn business, excommunication, whatever).

Interested? Apply here.

 

 

September 27, 2004

 About Her

Age: 32

Marital Status: Divorced

Body Type: Average

Height: 5' 4"

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Light Brown

Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)

Sense of Humor: Friendly

Social Setting: Shy at first, but warm up quickly, Social Butterfly, Flirt

TV Watching: I want to be on a game show too, TiVo is my best friend

Smoking: Smokes occasionally

Drinking: Drinks socially

Living Situation: I'll tell you later

Have Kids: No

Want (more) kids: Not sure

Education: I'll tell you later

Employment Status: Full-time

Occupation: Sales / Marketing

Income: I'll tell you later

Religion: I'll tell you later

Attend Services: I'll tell you later

Political Views: I'll tell you later

Astrology: Virgo

Languages: English

Interests: Family, Travel, Computers / Internet

 

 

 Scott

0.5

HOLY WHEATCAKES!!!

This girl is a dangerous, desperate psycho. There is no way I would do this chick and I feel for any dude that gets caught in this bitch's kid-trap. People like her should be shot. Hopefully this ad is just a big joke that one of her friends did to screw with her but I doubt it. Steve we have a crazy one here and she is all yours.

Overall Rating: 0.5

Steph 

0.5

This is a desperate chick for sure. No way, no how. Kevin, can I just
punch her in the throat instead of rating her? She pisses me off with
her ad for a sperm donor. And she's a tub of lard to boot.

The only way I would fuck this chick is if flying purple unicorns burp
rainbows and poop perfumed marshmallow flowers! You may quote me on
that.

Clam Slam rating: 0.5

Pump 

1.2

This is what's wrong with the world. Fat cunt wants
someone to take care of her, yada yada yada...
Doesn't want to work anymore... Hoping to infect the
world with a few yard apes (her insurance clause if
she gets tired of the new hubby/finance machine)...

Haven't we done this before? Oh yeah, its E-V-E-R-Y
woman in the world. At least this one was semi-honest
about it.

P.S. If you are thinking about hitting this one up,
run a credit check. She also wants somebody to pay
her Visa bill. Among others.

Eddie

4

The question I have is could she hook me up with her friends. This is
the classic ugly girl with hot friends problem. What she needs to do is
find herself some girls that are even more unattractive then she is and
she will be home free to find her baby's daddy.
She wants to have kids which makes her stupid in the head. So now we
know she is both stupid and ugly. That is a bad combo people. Hot and
stupid is ok. Ugly and smart is ok. Ugly and stupid is bad... I give
her a 4 for the number of scooby snacks it would take to get him to
do "it" with her.

Kevin 

2

This ad should be the core curriculae for a college course on what NOT to do in a singles ad. Holy nuts ahoy! Let me count the ways...

  • Don't ever post a picture with friends who are hotter than you! You never want to give a guy an obvious reason to check out the next ad.
  • Don't ever post a picture with "furries".
  • Don't say you're ready drop brats out of your vagina. EVER! Guys don't want kids, they get tricked into having them.
  • Don't ever, and the Rock means, EVER, put the word, or any dervivative of the word "husband" in your ad and certainly not in the title, for fucks sake!!! No one read your ad except me and I was cruising for chicks to post on Rate This Chick. Capiche?

 

Rob 

-

 

Steve 

?

Jim 

5

She doesn't say why she needs a husband. If she just needs a sperm donor I am sure there are plenty of testosterone filled studs that are all dressed up looking for a place to go at the next party that can supply her with what she needs. She looks very cute (now that I have figured out which one she is from all of the other characters in her photos) and she has a really great smile. I am sure the other Pirates will make some remarks about which dog is she, but then everybody knows she can't be Scooby. I actually find her to be cute in a pudgy (could lose a few pounds) kinda way. Too bad she smokes as that is really a turn off for me. Her key words in her paragraph is "if I just lay it out there" . . . heh heh. I feel sure that someone will take advantage of her and give her a semen donation. However they may not claim her. She seems like a party girl that really isn't ready to settle down with a husband and make babies. If that is what she is looking for then I hope she finds the right stud. With the exception of the facts that she smokes and is husband hunting to make little Scooby Doos' I will have to give her a five on the party girl scale.
RAVE ON!!!

 

Average

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