The
New Sincerity |
|
Tell
Us About Yourself:
I am a wicked cool lady. Trust me, you want to know
me. I am sooo funny. I am a smarty pants. I like
my cars with sticks. I like my noses with piercings.
I like my bodies with crappy little tattoos. I like
crappy light beer and singing really loud in my
car.
I'm seriously involved in political activism and
just left a dream job where I lobbied house reps
and senators for a social justice organization and
organized low and moderate income communities for
building power. I started an art collective in dowtown
Orlando with my best friend that houses musicians,
poets, writers, visual artists, activists. I believe
heavily in creating your own world and being proactive
about it. I love to read - Tales of a Punk Rock
Nothing by Abram Shalom & Jamie Schweser, Another
World is Possible (Conversations in a Time of Terror)
by Jee Kim et al, and How To Get Stupid White Men
Out of Office by Brown & Wimsatt were the last
books I've read. I love underground music, specifically
punk rock and electroclash (not techno). I like
to go dancing and occasionally drinking if it's
in a responsible manner. I teach yoga for a living
and I'm a full time college student. In my bedroom
you'd find tactile luxuries, artwork created and
given by friends, a violin and viola, indian sari
tapestries, messy piles of newspapers, 12 calendars
to keep track of everything I need to do, and way
too many books and tapes for learning Haitian Creole.
Looking for someone whose drug free. Intellectuals
are what catches my eye. Male Feminism is sexy;
Performing post binary gener chores is sexier. Philosophical
conversations followed by pillow fights are awesome.
Intellectual, casual law breaker, quirky, smart
with a capital S, slightly snobby but not too, and
make me laugh :-)
Anything
Else You'd Like to Add?
This
should be fun! :-)
| How
many of you ladies out there have the stones
to submit your profile to The Couch Pirates
and walk the plank of Rate This Chick?
We've
been receiving multiple applications lately
and so, to make it easier we've now got an
online application.
We
can't promise to be nice (some of us probably
will) but we can promise to be honest.
We'll
also promise to send you a banner, declaring
that you were rated by the Couch Pirates,
we'll eventually post you in the archives
section (for everyone to see, for all time)
and we'll be glad to plug any site or upcomming
event you have (blog, porn business, excommunication,
whatever).
Interested?
Apply here. |
|
|
October
24, 2004
About Her
Age:
23
Body Type: Small & Curvy
Height: 5'1"
Ethnicity: Half Spanish, Half German, 100% Eurotrash
Smoking: Every once in awhile, when drinking
Drinking: Couple glasses of wine during the week, a few
beers during the weekend.
Do you have kids?: Nope.
Occupation: Political Organizer/Activist for a social justice
organization, weekend yoga teacher & student
Religion: Spiritual, Not religious
Political Views: I'm a very informed liberal whose lobbied
house reps and senators, knows the press well, and knows
exactly why she's voting for John Kerry. Debate me, go ahead
:-)
Interests: Art, community service/volunteering, politics,
Reading, playing violin and viola, refinishing furniture,
learning languages, keeping authority figures on their toes,
astronomy, anthropology, theater, yoga, soccer
|
| Scott |
 |
7.5
|
A
real girl and one that has some balls. Most
of these chicks struggle to give you a paragraph
about them self, this Chatty Kathy gives us
three with ease. While I don't enjoy all the
activities myself at the very least this chick
will keep herself busy while I hang out with
the nerds playing Heroclix or watching College
Football. I like to look of the middle picture
so much it makes me horny (girls in glasses
are always sexy). It's a must that she wear
those goggles if she wants to ride the Bone
Roller-Coaster.
What
the hell does "Male Feminism is sexy;
Performing post binary gener chores is sexier"
mean? Why do I have the feeling this means
"I love lubing up your cornhole and pounding
the dog-crap out of you." That could
be a very scary second date. This one gets
a higher rating than most, like I said nice
second picture and she actually tells us something
about herself in her ad. Yes I would do her.
I would even date her, she does some stuff
I don't care about but I'm sure I do shit
she would hate too.
Overall
Rating: 7.5
|
|
| Steph |
|
7
|
| Well,
I dunno about this one Kevin. She's kinda
cute. Seems
intelligent, but she's a hippie tree hugger
and is looking for a male
clone of herself. I guess I'd do her, but
I'd probably need to go bath
the activist film off of me afterwards.
Spelunking
her womanhood might be fun, but I wouldn't
date this chick.
Clam
Slam rating: 7
|
|
| Pump |
 |
5
|
| Very
cute. Very stupid.
Get
used to four more, hippie.
Final
Score: 5
P.S.
Hippies are good shaggin' material, I can't
totally dog her.
|
|
| Eddie |
 |
A
10 and a 1?! Shit Eddie... what am I supposed
to do with that?!!
|
| I
hated her before I even saw the pics. Then when
I saw them I hated
her all the more. I am not even sure I have
to say anything other than
read her post. It says it all. As an apathetic
life form I hate all
that is radical and this girl is definitley
that. She is also very much
about Feminism. I guess all girls are until
they find a man and want
him to take care of them. Anyway, I give her
both a Ten and a 1 because
I know she likes people who flip flop on issues.
Heck, maybe I'll get
her vote.
|
|
| Kevin |
 |
9
|
|
On first impression, I like this
chick so much it scares me. This is an ad
I would answer and cross my fingers that she
replied. I know I got on to a girl several
weeks ago for telling me her political opinions,
but I'm giving this one a pass because I believe
she knows what she's talking about and not
just parroting her less-informed friends and
what she hears on MTV. If she's so involved
in politics that she's actually meeting members
of congress, then I'm sure she won't mind
if I want to spend Sunday morning reading
the paper and watching Meet The Press. I don't
know where our political opinions intersect,
but I'd like to find out.
I
like the fact that she teaches yoga (that's
very sexy... ), that she is into tatts and
piercings (that tells me some things about
her mind set) and I'm really into chicks who
read. Reading means so much more than just
that you are interesting and informed; it
means that you value time alone and that you
are willing to turn off a world that consistently
fights for your attention. Bookworms make
me tingle in my special place.
I'm
an artist myself, so anyone who is both into
art AND helps artists is firing on all the
right cylinders. Anyone who is a musician
appeals to me, and hell... I'm even impressed
that she refinishes furniture (I've got a
chair that needs some attention)!
I
think this girl is hot, she's got the right
look without trying too hard, she's the right
size and the right age. If she was just a
little more wild in appearance I would have
given her a "Ten", but I'm holding
that rating back for Uber-Freaks and the chick
I marry.
|
|
Steve |
|
?
|
| Dirk-O-Meter
Rating:YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
This sweet piece of commie ass is a hard one
to peg. It's like she wants a Half Pump/Half
James Man creature. While she is all about
total surrender to the communists and shitty
techno like jams, she also craves shitty tatoos
and she likes shitty light beers which puts
her into Pumps sights.
She has a very creepy stare that makes me
feel like she might be a teeny tiny bit crazy
but the real clincher is she is into Yoga
which is Hippe Speak for "Likes it in
the cornhole" so any way you slice it
she is doable but not necassarily claimable.
|
|
| Jim |
|
-
|
|
|
|
| Dave...
Yes, DAVE!!! |
|
4
|
| Okay
Kev, I know that I haven't the most active participant
in the couch pirates organization as it is today.
But if you will let me speak on this bimbo,
I would greatly appreciate it.
First
of all toots, you annoy the hell out of me in
writing. But you think everyone is dying to
meet you...right. My ass!! If we conversed in
person, I would be so inclined to pull out my
wanker and slap you upside that cute little
head of yours. Stick with your liberal filibustering
faggot friends and join the Peace Corp., but
stay away from me.
Oh
yeah....you're cute enough for me to give you
a 4. With duct tape you'd be an 7. |
|
| Wrap
Up |
 |
|
| -
You tell her Dave!!! It's nice to have you back...
even for one rating. Now put that wanker back
in your pants...
-Kevin |
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