ITZ
A COWGIRLZ WORLD BABY DONT TRIP |
|
Tell
Us About Yourself:
WUSS
UP. IM JUST LOOKIN FOR SOMEONE KOOL TO KICK IT WITH
FOR NOW. FOR FUN I LIKE TO RIDE MY HORSES , GO TO
RODEOS AND JUST KICK IT SO IF U WANNA KNOE N E THING
ABOUT THIS GIRL JUST HOLLA AT ME AIGHT
| How
many of you ladies out there have the stones
to submit your profile to The Couch Pirates
and walk the plank of Rate This Chick?
We've
been receiving multiple applications lately
and so, to make it easier we've now got an
online application.
We
can't promise to be nice (some of us probably
will) but we can promise to be honest.
We'll
also promise to send you a banner, declaring
that you were rated by the Couch Pirates,
we'll eventually post you in the archives
section (for everyone to see, for all time)
and we'll be glad to plug any site or upcomming
event you have (blog, porn business, excommunication,
whatever).
Interested?
Apply here. |
|
|
November,
2004
About Her
Age:
23
Marital
Status: Single - never married
Body
Type: Thick
Height:
5' 6"
Eyes:
Brown
Hair:
Black
Ethnicity:
African American (black)
Sense
of Humor: Friendly, Goofy
Social
Setting: Shy at first, but warm up quickly
TV
Watching: Movies
Smoking:
I'll tell you later
Drinking:
Drinks socially
Living
Situation: Alone
Have
Kids: No
Want
(more) kids: No
Education:
High School Grad
Employment
Status: I'll tell you later
Occupation:
I'll tell you later
Income:
More than $150,000
Religion:
Christian
Attend
Services: Monthly
Political
Views: Not political
Astrology:
Sagittarius
Languages:
English
Interests:
Movies, Outdoor Activities
|
| Scott |
 |
3
|
Where
is Dave when we have a black girl to rate?
If you hang out with the pirates then you
know what I'm talking about, but to the others
out there that don't know him. Our buddy Dave
loves black chicks, when we all would go to
the porn shop Dave was there buying all kinds
of black girl flicks. This girl would be perfect
for him. She is dark black, has big jugs and
she is an overall big girl. Dave would give
her an 8. I will rate her quite differently.
I would do her but not claim her. I think
she would be my best shot at banging Missy
Elliott.
Overall
Rating: 3 (Scott), 8 (Dave)
|
|
| Steph |
|
2
|
| Awww,
HELL no! She did not just say AIGHT? Well,
she got some sista
booty goin' on there. I might hafta git me
some o' dat. Thas some big
swayin' titties she got tha. I be wantin'
to taste summa that.
For
someone who's chosen language is Ebonics,
I seriously doubt she's
making $150K a year. I'd bang her just to
see her tits flop and her ass
wobble. Pretty amusing really.
Clam
Slam rating: 2
|
|
| Pump |
 |
10
|
| The
only thing I'm tripping over is my own feet
to run
and catch this sweet piece of dark chocolate!!!
Income is over $150,000, doesn't have kids,
doesn't
WANT kids... Shit, I'll let her put a saddle
on me
and I'll gallop through the 'hood with curb
feelers on
if that's what she wants. Strap some Daytons
and a
pair of subs on my fat ass, I don't care.
Gentleman,
start your envy... SHE'S A 10!!!
P.S. Mama better bring the spurs, too... GIDDYUP!!!
|
|
| Eddie |
 |
4
|
| OH!
MY! LORD!... My first question is how does anyone
that lives in
Spencer make more than 150,000 dollars a year.
Well, she must be a
whore! From the look of the pics she is a good
one to. This girl gives
the words riding my horse a whole new meaning.
Ugh... I give her a 4
for the number of "sleepy darts" it
would take to knock this horse out.
|
|
| Kevin |
 |
2
|
I
don't think anyone has enough time for me
to honestly lay out all the things that is
wrong with this chick, so I'll just try to
cover the most egregious examples.
Black
chicks don't get to be cowgirls. Sorry. (Conversely,
white dudes don't get to be rappers. Sorry
Marshall Mathers.)
Fat
girls shouldn't show us thongs that disappear
into the inky blackness of their ass crack.
Owning
a pirated copy of Photoshop does not give
you artistic license to irritate the world
with your propensity for tackiness. There
are places for that kind of thing, like craft
shows, the back window of your pick-up truck
and Sigfried and Roy's house.
Finally,
anyone who uses the phrase "kick it"
twice, in a one paragraph description of yourself,
should be sterilized immediately. We don't
need that shit breeding.
|
|
| Rob |
|
1
|
| Scary.
This chick makes over $150,000? Deep down she's
probably a nice person but, she's hitting all
the negative spots in her ad. Shitty touched
up photos? check. Horrendous spelling and punctuation?
check. LARGE CAPS? check. I think we have ourselves
a TKO. Even if this chick were extremely hot
it would be hard to give her any sort of decent
rating based on the ad. However, she must be
doing something right if she's making over 150
grand. For that, she get a 1. |
|
Steve |
|
?
|
|
|
|
| Jim |
|
0
|
| Boy
is this one Hot or What??? . . NOT!!!
I cannot think of any thing worse than a fat
black party Ho pullin a sweaty stinky thong
outta her ass. Man this is disgusting. Girl,
what in Hell makes you think anybody wants to
look at that ass? It just flat out creeps me
out. She writes an absolutely ghetto ad about
herself as a cowgirl. Most of what she writes
doesn't make any sense and I am really sorry
Aretha but I have no R.E.S.P.E.C.T for anyone
that cannot use a spellchecker before submitting
an ad about themselves. What a dumbass. A large
dumbass. I cannot help but wonder why she will
tell us later whether she smokes or not. I sense
she is hiding something. Also how the Hell does
a 23 year old high school graduate make over
150 large but yet she will tell us later about
her employment status and occupation? Do I sense
a drug dealer here??? HMMMM. Sorry she may make
a lot of dough but it looks more like she is
wearing it instead. Sorry, I give her a big
fat zero.
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| Average |
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-
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| -
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