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Tell
Us About Yourself:
I
like to play a lot of hockey and men, my favourite
playing surface is a man.
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April
10, 2005
About Her
Age:18
Body Type:slim/ sporty
Height: 5ft 5
Ethnicity: White British
Smoking: Sometimes
Drinking: All the time
Do you have kids: Hope not
Occupation:
Student and part time on the meat counter
Political Views: Political what? No one said this was going
to be hard!
Interests: Men, sport hockey, men, men
| How
many of you ladies out there have the stones to submit
your profile to The Couch Pirates and walk the plank
of Rate This Chick?
We've
been receiving multiple applications lately and so,
to make it easier we've now got an online application.
We
can't promise to be nice (some of us probably will)
but we can promise to be honest.
We'll
also promise to send you a banner, declaring that
you were rated by the Couch Pirates, we'll eventually
post you in the archives section (for everyone to
see, for all time) and we'll be glad to plug any site
or upcomming event you have (blog, porn business,
excommunication, whatever).
Interested?
Apply here. |
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| Scott |
 |
5
|
Wow
this chick looks like she craves cock. Well
baby doll come take a ride on my can o' corn.
This girl is very cute with a naughty look
in her eyes and has a super nice body. She
doesn't give us much in the profile aspect
of the ad, except that she likes men. I think
we have found a candidate for this years Couch
Pirate's Bukkake or our annual Anal Gang Bang.
Lady if you want to ride a train of pirates
give us a call. Obviously I would do her,
hell if the sex is good I might even date
her. My final thought is this, Port Pirates
send us nude pictures of your honey's.
Overall
Rating: 5 (This would be a lot higher if the
Bukkake or Anal Gang Bang was scheduled, or
if there was more content in the ad part of
the profile.)
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| Steph |
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5
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| This
chick is cute in the face, but the beer gut
is starting to show.
Or is that sperm gut? Anyway, I'd probably
dip in her honey pot, but
wouldn't hang around to wipe my hands.
She
smokes and works the meat counter a little
too much for me. I'd do
her, but I think both of us would be bored.
Clam
Slam rating: 5
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| Pump |
 |
10
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| She
sounds like a fun broad, and just ripe enough
for
a good shot of vitamin P. Plus, since she's
the first
of our cross-promoting kin to pony up a profile,
she
gets a 10.
By
the way, up for a bit of the ol' pinch &
squeal,
love...?
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| Kevin |
 |
6
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| Hold
on there! Don't give us too much information!
That profile was like the Encyclopædia
Britannica! You
know, witholding infomation can hurt you as
much as telling all the gory details.
I
will say that Dirtbag is a hot piece of tail,
but that only goes so far. If she's serious
about men and drinking being her only interests,
then there's a very big problem. I'm a one-woman-man,
and I expect my chick to be a one-man-woman!
I've
dated chicks who are always on the prowl for
the next swinging penis, and I say fuck that
shit! I call it the "Party Phase"
and if a girl isn't past that phase of her life,
she needs to move along.
Given
the chance, of course I'd stick my fat swollen
cock in her (and she'd beg for more), but her
wayward tendancies hurt her rating as far as
I'm concerned.
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|
| Rob |
|
7.5
|
| A
little more info would have been nice. Given
that there isn't much beyond the questionaire
one must read between the lines. If she goes
by "Dirtbag Princess" then she definitely
doesn't take herself too seriously which is
good. "White British" is a new term
for me so, obviously I could learn a thing
or two from her. (As an aside, my British
professor just leaned over my shoulder and
wondered where she's from. He also informed
me that there are "White Irish",
which explains the "White British"
bit.) She smokes, so the first flaw is revealed.
Drinks all the time? Hmmm, something tells
me I couldn't keep up with this chick. Her
kids line is funny so, she has a sense of
humor (humour since she's British). Hockey
I could take or leave but, she likes men,
apparently a lot, so that's good. Being a
photo major, I wish the pics were better but
she is cute and looks like she could be fun.
A snoopy shirt nets her an extra half point.
I'll give her a 7.5 wishing she'd told us
a bit more about herself. |
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|
Eddie |
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-
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| Jim |
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2
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| Ok!!!
So she is nothing more than a cute 18 year old
sperm bank. So what! She looks like she can
pull a train with relative ease and is a prime
candidate for spokeswoman for birth control.
She looks like the chick that did the entire
football team behind the McDonalds after the
game last Friday night. This little chirpy is
very obviously into nothing more than just getting
laid because she says nothing else about herself
except that she enjoys being the meat on the
counter and enjoys drinking and smoking. She
also doesn't want kids but she is playing with
fire. Eventually she will get burned . . . badly.
Don't
get me wrong. . . I like this girl for the simple
fact that I could pummel her in the arse and
make her bleed and not feel guilty about it.
I mean what is there to like about her anyway???
She really says nothing else about herself.I
don't think she has any other ambition in life
except to get laid. Well,is that really such
a bad thing? Well I will give her a one for
her charming personality and a five for her
cute 18 year old face but a minus two for the
smoking and that leaves us with a ??? Well I
dunno I never was very good with math but I
would fuck her any way so that means she has
to be worth at least a 2 or a 3 or something.
Hell, I think even worthless sleaze bags can
get a 2 . SLEAZE BAGS RULE! HA!!! RAVE ON !!!
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| Daniel |
 |
7
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| We
have a Brit on our hands. First things first,
how's her dental hygiene? Well, from what I
can see it appears that she isn't British. She
has white straight teeth. You lied to me Kevin.
Just
on looks alone I'll give her a 5. Add in the
fact that she likes to be rode hard and put
up wet and doesn't appear to be a weak sister:
bump her up two more for a total of 7.
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| |
| Wrap
Up |
 |
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|
British
chicks are hot!
-Kevin
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|
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|
Pirate
Projects |
| The
Beefboy Rants |
| |
Kevin's
site features celebrities, politics, culture, nude chicks
and DVD reviews. Updated regularly. Over 2million hits
a month! |
|
|
| The Tard Ranch |
| |
Pump's
blog on... well, anything that irritates him or makes
him laugh. If you like his Rate This Chick reveiws, you
should check this out. |
|
|
| Words By Eddie |
| |
Eddie
talks about life on the road, religion, music and society.
|
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| The
Couch Pirate Forum |
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the Couch Pirates Forum and leave us a piece of your
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