Git
- Er - Done!!!! |
|
Tell
Us About Yourself:
Im currently going through a divorce and looking
to meet someone to hang out with. Im not exactly
sure why im actually putting all of this on here
but what the heck... my friends have done it and
everyone seems to think its my turn to try this,
plus they told me if I don't type something they
are going to do it for me! (I think you'd rather
here about myself from me..not them, theres no telling
what they would say!)
Ok now where was I, oh yes.. going through a divorce,
I have 2 AWESOME kids (and YES my kids come first!!!)
Im laid back yet loud, obnoxious and funny at times.
Im usually the life of the party. I like doing just
about anything from sitting around home watching
movies to going out and playing pool. (Nope, Im
not a drinker or the "bar scene" type)
I LOVE Nascar, football, cars, camping, taking spur
of the moment road trips to absolutely nowhere important
just to say "yep I went there, got a t-shirt!"
Spending time with my children is number 1!!! and
last but not least... being spoiled!!! (Hey, im
being honest, im a spoiled little brat!) I also
like listening to music, singing (but you don't
want to hear that, TRUST ME!) I love movies, especially
comedies. I love Larry the Cable Guy and Toby Keith,
if there was a mix of the two out there somewhere
I'd be in heaven!!!! :) Im the big hearted type
that loves to see everyone around me smile. I usually
put all my friends and family first and myself last,
but im working on that~!~ Im not sure what else
Im leaving out so send me an email if ya wanna talk.....
| How
many of you ladies out there have the stones
to submit your profile to The Couch Pirates
and walk the plank of Rate This Chick?
We've
been receiving multiple applications lately
and so, to make it easier we've now got an
online application.
We
can't promise to be nice (some of us probably
will) but we can promise to be honest.
We'll
also promise to send you a banner, declaring
that you were rated by the Couch Pirates,
we'll eventually post you in the archives
section (for everyone to see, for all time)
and we'll be glad to plug any site or upcomming
event you have (blog, porn business, excommunication,
whatever).
Interested?
Apply here. |
|
|
March
7, 2005
About Her
Age: 26
Marital Status: Separated
Body Type: A few extra pounds
Height: 5' 3"
Eyes: Hazel
Hair: Blonde
Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)
Sense of Humor: Clever / Quick Witted, Dry / Sarcastic,
Goofy, Raunchy
Social Setting: The life of the party, Shy at first, but
warm up
quickly, Flirt, Comic Relief
TV Watching: Movies
Smoking: Smokes often
Drinking: Doesn't drink
Living Situation: With kids, With pets, With roommate(s)
Have Kids: Yes - at home full-time
Want (more) kids: Yes
Education: I'll tell you later
Employment Status: I'll tell you later
Occupation: Transportation
Income: I'll tell you later
Religion: I'll tell you later
Attend Services: Rarely
Political Views: Not political
Astrology: Aries
Languages: English
Interests: Family, Movies, Listening to Music, Outdoor Activities,
Watching Sports, Travel
|
| Scott |
 |
3
|
Wow,
what a giant piece of white trash. This is
the
kind of chick that would lick your balls after
you
worked outside in 100 degree weather chopping
wood all
day long. Hell she would probably fuck your
redneck
buddies too as long as there is plenty of
cold
Milwaukee's Best brew to go around.
She
looks like one of those people that don't
have a
pot to piss in yet they sell a kidney and
go out to
the fair to get drunk and ride the shitty
rides, "Ya
man, Ah man, Beer me man." I'm sure years
ago she
invested in Pokemon Cards, Beanie Babies or
Hot
Wheels, to try and better herself. Dumb bitch
thinks
she is sitting on a gold mine, but it's just
a smoked-stained
pile of shit. Yep you got to love the trailer
trash.
She
is a dumb-ass and pretty below average looking
but
I would do her, if she showered and stayed
off the
cigs for a few hours. I'm sure there is some
Darryl,
Dale, or Hank out there that really digs this
kind of
woman. Thanks for playing, who’s next?
|
|
| Steph |
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-
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|
|
| Pump |
 |
2.1
|
| I'm
too sad to write anything funny. People like
this
should be neutered.
Ugg...
At
least the folks at Clorox can sleep well knowing
cuntfaces like this will ensure job security
for
generations to come.
|
|
| Kevin |
 |
2
|
| The
response to this chick is excrementary my dear
Watson! I'm not into scat, but I might be with
this redneck slag!
First
off, she can take her "Git 'er Done"
and stick it up her cornhole! If there's ever
been a phrase that labels you as a hemi-driving
hayseed it's that one! Christians have fish
stickers on their bumper, convicts have shitty
tattoos. and hicks have that fucking phrase!
Who
the fuck places personals ads while they're
going through a divorce? Well Mrs. Fuckslut
McWonderwhore does! Your kids might appreciate
some attention while you and Darryl are bitching
at each other.
Oh,
and you're a "spoiled brat"? Well
if you were hot, I'd say you needed a spanking,
but since that's not the case... FUCK YOU! Once
again, your kids could use an adult, not a spoiled
brat, for a parent.
Let
me translate the phrase "spoiled brat"
for you- "I like to get my way, and when
I don't, I'm the biggest salt and vinegar vagina
you've ever met. Living with me will be the
closest thing you ever get to burning in Hell
for eternity. Git 'er done!"
The
only thing this chick is good for is as a receptacle
for my shit muffins.
|
|
| Rob |
|
2
|
| Kids,
smokes and NASCAR!!! The negative tri-fecta
has been unleashed.
Not political, getting a divorce, and loud
and obnoxious! The hits just
keep on coming. No drinking, loves being spoiled
and her ideal guy is a
mix of Larry the Cable Guy and Toby Kieth!?
Man, I'm beginning to find
NO interest in this chick at all. None. Nada.
Zilch. On the plus side
(no pun intended) she seems nice, has decent
typing skills and likes to
travel. Her appearance was a mild surprise
after reading the ad. So,
those last few bits raise what was looking
like it was going to be the
worst rating ever for me. Giv-er-a-two!
|
|
|
Eddie |
|
5
|
|
Let me see... I like that this chick is at
least honest that she is not
a good catch. But with Kids, no one is. I,
oh where was I, Oh yeah, I
would not touch this chick with a ten-foot
pole with disinfectant on it
and a pair of rubber gloves. First off, a
perfect guy for her is Toby
Keith meets Larry the cable guy. What the??????????
I would sooner
shoot Toby than hear him sing about the troops,
the flag, or any other
hick topic he can think of to use to his advantage.
On top of that she
likes NASCAR, cars, and camping. I only like
my car to drive, and I
would use it to drive to the nearest hotel
after I dropped her off in
the wilderness.
I
will say that I think she is telling herself
a lie by saying she is
spoiled. I am guessing a girl with a couple
of kids and no man was not
that spoiled, She comes across as one of those
overly loud Country
girls. I think her and Toby would make a great
couple and I would like
to send them both on an all expense paid trip
straight to Iraq.
I
give her a 5 for the "number of boots
in her a**" I would like to
give her (Toby Keith reference, sorry).
|
|
| Jim |
|
-
|
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|
|
| Daniel |
 |
2
|
| I
don't think it takes that far of a stretch of
the imagination to see why this chick is divorcing.
I just wonder who the fuck would marry her in
the first place? I noticed that she's "loud,
obnoxious, and sometimes funny." That sometimes
means never and she's that loud fat broad in
the room that you would like to see her teeth
kicked in just to shut her up. I'm glad she
doesn't drink but for her to find another mate
she better pick up the habit because all the
gents that will come her way sure need to be
drunk. Hell, her ad makes me want to go drink.
I'm sure Pump will find her very attractive
as I'm sure her excellent collection of NASCAR
memorabilia and Taz posters adorn every nook
in her trailer. Would I do her? She wouldn't
get 5 meters from my rack let alone in it.
She
gets a 2 for the number of contacts she lost
in the leaves. What a stupid damn picture.
|
|
| |
| Wrap
Up |
 |
|
|
Still
waiting for some Pirates to report in...
-Kevin
|
|
|
|
Pirate
Projects |
| The
Beefboy Rants |
| |
Kevin's
site features celebrities, politics, culture, nude chicks
and DVD reviews. Updated regularly. Over 2million hits
a month! |
|
|
| The Tard Ranch |
| |
Pump's
blog on... well, anything that irritates him or makes
him laugh. If you like his Rate This Chick reveiws, you
should check this out. |
|
|
| Words By Eddie |
| |
Eddie
talks about life on the road, religion, music and society.
|
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Couch Pirate Forum |
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