Christina |
|
Tell
Us About Yourself:
I
am 20 years old live in New Castle, PA. (amish smell)
Right now I nanny full-time and work on my book
during my free time. I love to watch porn (midget
porn is just the best). Men and women turn me on,
and IVe been told that makes me BI sexual. I think
everyone should be Bi Sexual....just means orgys
for all. I travel alot over the country, always
looking for the last beer (still havent found it).
Im not into romance, sensitive guys, candlelite
dinners, roses, chick flicks. I have a over active
sex drive, a typical males sex drive you could say.
Ive found a man that can keep up with me and have
a good time. I am opinionated and stubborn, am very
out going and dont give a fuck what people think
about me. If you dont agree with me thats fine,
have a nice day and choke on a dick :)
|
| How
many of you ladies out there have the stones to submit
your profile to The Couch Pirates and walk the plank
of Rate This Chick?
We've
been receiving multiple applications lately and so,
to make it easier we've now got an online application.
We
can't promise to be nice (some of us probably will)
but we can promise to be honest.
We'll
also promise to send you a banner, declaring that
you were rated by the Couch Pirates, we'll eventually
post you in the archives section (for everyone to
see, for all time) and we'll be glad to plug any site
or upcomming event you have (blog, porn business,
excommunication, whatever).
Interested?
Apply here. |
|
May
10, 2005
About Her
Age:
20
Body Type: fat, curvy, few extra pounds (its all a matter
of opinion, mine is fat)
Height: 5'7
Ethnicity: Mexican/German (lucky me)
Smoking: Yes, frequently
Drinking: Jack is a personal friend of mine.
Do you have kids?: Nope (wouldnt want to poison the gene
pool)
Occupation: Writer/poet (ie-I have a shitty day job)
Religion: Is that the stuff wars are made of?
Political Views: Oh where to start, 1st things 1st, no I
didnt vote for bush. I dont believe in abortions (although
Metallica makes me think twice about that, too bad selling
out isnt a valid reason for rape with a cheese grater) Ok
moving on, I dont belong to any political party, some would
call me a liberal.. *shrugs* Im not sure about that.
Interests: Music (Slayer, Tool, Bad Brains, Alice Cooper).
Writing poetry, currently published with a book in progress
(Some publishers are so dumb) Tattoos (2) and piercings,
I have my nose, tregas, nipples and hood pierced. Horror
flicks, B-Horror movies, cult classics, action, anything
with blood and guts.
|
| Scott |
 |
9
|
Good
Gravy! Christina, except for the smoking thing
you are the perfect woman. I think all women
should be bi-sexual too (Hope the wife is
listening!). Christina please give me a call
I've been looking for a woman with the desire
for sex like this. You would be the best swinger
partner ever, (I like that in a girl).
I
think she could be the girl for me and Steve
to share. She loves to fuck (for me) and loves
the same crappy movies that Steve enjoys.
We both don't mind a little extra in our women
so she would be perfect. Christina please
email me
when you're ready to get it on, and bring
your bi side with you, we can work on my wife
together.
Overall
Rating: 9 (Would've been a 10 but I don't
care for people smoking!)
|
|
| Steph |
|
6
|
| Whoah...!
This chick sounds like she'd be fun to party
with. Smoking
and having a close personal relationship with
Jack is quite a bit less
posh than I like.
However,
her take on the gene pool is great. She says
she has a high
sex drive. I like that. We might make a good
match. Porn, blood and guts
movies, piercings, tattoos..., I like them
all.
I'd
like to do the shebang with this chick, because
I wouldn't have to
worry about the lesbian U-Haul syndrome.
Thanks
for the honesty. Get some better photos. I'm
dingin' you for the
crap you sent.
Clam
Slam rating: 6
|
|
| Pump |
 |
9.9
|
| Damn.
If we could get the Slayer on the Ipod so
I
don't have to hear it, we'd have a bonerfied
winner
here. Oh sure, she may not have an ideal body,
but I
sure as hell don't either. So let's shag already!
Did I mention you can get your 3-way card
punched with
ease here?
She
gets a 9.9. I would give her a 10, but James
would get really mad if I did. If she was
here in
person, she'd get a 2.7 from me, Shazam!
|
|
| Eddie |
|
1
|
| Too
much to say about this chick to even start...
The picks are
classic "I am angry Tool fan that is against
all that is normal but I
dress like all my other Hot Topic shopping Friends".
Not too much here
worth my time. Nothing new. I would pass! Oh,
and I give her a 1 for
the number of away from "Emo chick"
she is. |
|
|
Kevin |
|
1
|
| Usually,
I'm the guy who would defend this chick against
the hordes, but not this time. Here's the
reason:
"Ive
found a man that can keep up with me and have
a good time."
I'm
not stroking some chick who has a swinging
dick to suck. Fuck that shit.
Oh,
and what kind of nanotechnology created those
postage stamp pictures?!! If they were a little
smaller we wouldn't even be able to determine
what species she is. I didn't even have to
reduce those to fit on the home page. Neat.
|
|
| Steve |
|
10
|
| A
note to all my loyal readers. At the request
of the almost Nazi like webmaster of this
site I will be suspending the use of the Dirk-O-Meter
when rating chicks as I don't "Fit In
His Box"...
HEIL HOOPER!!!!
This chick is a bucket of guts to fuck. Personally
I wouldn't do her without a trash bag on my
cock but I would still do her.
She would insist on taking it in the ass 1st
since she is just a total gutter slut.
This is Scotts dream chick except for the
beer.
She just wants BANG BANG BANG!!! |
|
| Rob |
|
9
|
| Well,
she's got attitude and a lot of it. So, She's
certainly off to a good start. However she does
smoke and when drinks are personal friends and
you're technically not old enough to buy your
own, then we might have a problem. While I find
plenty of "problems" with this chick,
I must confess an infatuation with her honesty.
There is no way I'd aim to try to marry this
chick and have 2.4 kids with her but, I think
that suits her fine. She certainly is someone
I'd take a chance on getting to know. She gets
big points for not being into all the crap that
most chicks are; and a love of porn (midget
porn nonetheless, heads up Scott) and sex, well
that may make her the coolest chick I've rated.
Musical tastes are ok, a warped sense of humor
(rape with a cheese grater), a love of horror
films, brutal honesty, bisexual, a love of porn
(had to throw that in again), and her looks
aren't bad despite the crappy web-cam captures.
All in all , honesty and attitude win for me
here: 9. |
|
| Dave |
|
5
|
| I
have differing opinions about this one. I don't
like that she says that she doesn't give a fuck,
but she has sent us this profile to rate her.
She doesn't give a shit right??? I do like that
she likes porn. I don't like that she is "liberal??."
I do like that she likes women too. I don't
like that she tries too hard to not care. I
do like that she is a bigger gal. (I really
like real women; skinny women suck) I don't
like that many piercings. Did I say that I like
it that she likes porn and chicks yet? I'll
give her a 5.
|
|
| Daniel |
 |
1
|
| Well
I don't know what to say about this one. On
one hand I want to be
nice and applaud her honesty. Unfortunately
I'd also like to duct tape
her mouth shut and let angry dogs have at her
while I watch. It takes
guts to be a rebel in Amish country, I mean,
what do you have to do
there to be a rebel, wear a mini-skirt? Shit.
This bitch annoys me
for several reasons and most of them because
she tries too damn hard to
be a dude. I've seen girls like this before
and the aftermath of a
night being satisfied is usually 30 or 40 satiated
men that just got
five bucks to top her personal one night record
of being railed. I
give her a 1 because somebody around here has
to balance out the
smattering of 10s this chick is going to get
from the artsy-fartsy side
of the Pirates.
|
|
| Wrap
Up |
 |
|
|
Always
good to see Dave chime in. If we'd get responses
from Jim and Scott we'd have a full crew!
-Kevin
P.S.
Steve, I'll be your Fuhrer anytime, big boy! |
|
|
|
Pirate
Projects |
| The
Beefboy Rants |
| |
Kevin's
site features celebrities, politics, culture, nude chicks
and DVD reviews. Updated regularly. Over 2million hits
a month! |
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| The Tard Ranch |
| |
Pump's
blog on... well, anything that irritates him or makes
him laugh. If you like his Rate This Chick reveiws, you
should check this out. |
|
|
| Words By Eddie |
| |
Eddie
talks about life on the road, religion, music and society.
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