3.5

I'll give her a 3.5. I think it's easy to tell that out of all her
passions in life, food tops the bill. She couldn't possibly
have time for all those things. "Slightly overweight,"...my ASS!!!!

I don't really know what to say about this chick. I don't find her
attractive at all. I hate red haired girls. For that matter I hate red
hair on anyone. I think she would make an interesting person to talk
to, but I wouldn't date her to save my life. I am basing this mostly
on the hair, but the fact that she is showing her bra strap in the
picture doesn't help either. I think if she had a better picture, her
rating would be a lot higher at this point. However, she gets a 5. Oh,
and I am not sold on her slightly overweight comment. I think she
might want to check the definition of slightly.

James

3.5

This girl irritates me before I even look at her pic. Trite poetry?!
Illustrator of children's books?! Bullshit! I'm sure there are
people lining up to give this chick a gig as an illustrator or poet.
She looks like a chubby, or soon-to-be chubby, a huge negative along
with her "occasional" smoking and drinking. She looks like someone who
would simultaneously bore and annoy me, and that is a poor combination.

Certainly not the elvin waif-types that I like physically, but she's cute enough and the red hair doesn't hurt a bit. She's got teeth like Mr. Ed though.

Her list of interests helps her and hurts her equally. She likes reading, movies and art, all positive in my book. The problem is that she mentions two writers that I've never heard of, which suggests to me that they do weepy introspective novels titled "Rainbow Tears" or some such twaddle. She lists "other" as a religion, and believe me, if it's not listed as an option, it's NOT A RELIGION. I sang in the Christmas play when I was in fifth grade, but that doesn't make me a vocal stylist and frankly if you haven't seen a stage in three years you're not an actress.

I suspect that since she doesn't have "intimate/physical" noted under the "Looking for…" section, and since she's really pushing the friends angle, that there's not going to be any sex here, for a LONG LONG TIME. I might give her a date but I'm weary of the flake-factor. If she owns more than one cat, or has a phone fetish, she's history!

2

This is another run o' the mill coffee shop
pseudo-intellectual. She mentions off the wall
authors (although most have heard of Kurt Vonnegut) in
such a matter-of-fact fashion to suggest she wants to
hold some obscure fact over your head to give herself
a false sense of importance; a recurring theme in many
of our ratings.

Ahh, finally a girl that fellow Couch Pirate Kevin should absolutely
love. She writes, is an artist, smokes (Kevin doesn't like a girl
unless she smokes), she's into Kurt Vonnegut, food and movies. All
things that Kevin loves. Kevin should marry this girl; she's everything
he wants, and very little of what I want. Overall, on the ad I give her
a 5, and looks I give a 3 for an overall 4 rating.

This girl is all over the place with her message to a prospective
"mate". She needs to figure out what she wants to do when she grows up.
Of course, she IS only 20 yrs. old. At least she says she writes
"trite" poetry. I have to give her kudos for that tidbit of honesty.

Dave-O-Meter Rating= I WOULD!!!!!

#1: She mentions theater at least 3 times in this ad. Theater chicks
are notorious for being panty dropping freaks.

#2: The line "philosophy is an art that I long to immerse myself in"
means "If you give me a copy of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead then I will
give you full anal acess."

#3: Slightly Overweight Body Type means that she is at least honest
about what she looks like, which is more than I can say for some folks
on the singles scene. It also means really great head, because nobody
gives a hummer better than a fat chick.

#4 Her bra strap is hanging out of her white trash sundress! WOO HOO!!

The truth is that even if we threw all that stuff out, she mentioned
that she likes wine and shitty poems so that makes her Kevin's dream
date!!!!