3

Okay, first and foremost, if you're gonna write an ad for people to read than edit the freakin' thing please. You're big and you lie. Fat people hate the outdoors(you have zero tan). You look like you border on the 250 lb. limit (you fellow pirates know what I'm referring to here). So, I'll give you a 3! And Steve better have said NO to this one!!!!

Ok, I can't bash on this girl too much especially after that last few
that we have had. This girl seems to be somewhat intelligent, and from her description, she seems like a genuine girl looking for some fun. That is until you read her bio and you find out that she lied to sucker you in. Now it is one thing to lie about weight. I thought that was ok. However, to lie about having a child is just flat out wrong. I have to wonder what else she is lying about. Is she really a man? If she would lie about these other things, what would she not lie about? I don't trust her. I give her a 1.

This chick is a big fat liar! And I mean that in every sense of the word. How many times did she "fib" in this ad? Why should I believe anything she says? "Ooops!… I forgot to tell you I'm fat and I'm pregnant, but besides that I'm really cool… Eeeek Eeeek! The End."

Does this chick really think that someone who's looking for a hot athletic girl is going to read her duplicitous ad and suddenly go, "You know what, she's a fat liar, but she's so sincere in the rest of her ad, that I've got to meet this great gal."

Stop yankin' my Franklin, Ms. Pac Man.

First thing... She is knocked up. I hate it when people have chips on
their shoulders and say bad things about others that don't like them
for a good reason. "I'm pregnant and fat, and if you were a real man, with a real sack, you would date me. Obviously you aren't so, Poof!" What a waste of thousands of snack treats over the years on her.

PLUS, she writes poetry. I fucking hate poetry. People want to read
that shit to you and ask you what you thought. How can you tell them,
"Gee.. Uh... Want to drill corkscrews into my ears so I don't have to listen anymore?" People seem to think they have it all figured out. She's at that age where fat chicks slowly exit adolescence and have to release all the harbored angst out on the world for all the guys that wouldn't talk to them except for geometry answers. Now, they have poetry to fall back on. To solve the problem (or alleviate some of the painful symptoms) she got cutesy and got a tongue ring. See, she still wants to be like the "in" crowd, just not to admit anything.

I could go on and on and on, but I'll stop and give the verdict.

Final Score: 2

P.S. Literature chicks disturb me. Especially ones who are "self-trained." i.e. Didn't take any college.

I'm 5'11'', brilliant, very wealthy and a joy to be around. Just
kidding, I'm really a fat chick with bad typing skills and a hobby that doesn't fit my physique. Give me a break!

She likes camping, I hope the places she frequents are very wide open. Guys I also hope the stream you go to for that magical fishing excursion has easy access. If not, you better knows CPR, because this chick is likely to faint if the hike is too lengthy.

I can't find anything positive to say about this chick, so she gets a big fat 0!!

Wow this girl is almost damn near a 10. I would leave my wife for her
in a heartbeat. Then I'd fuck the dog crap out of her with my nine-inch
cock. She might be the best looking girl I have ever seen. She truly is an All-American girl.

(Cue up the Henry Rollins Band song "Liar" please.)

Okay maybe she's not a 10 but closer to a .01, maybe I wouldn't fuck
the dog shit out of her but rather force dogs to shit on her instead.

(Play the "Lair" song now)

WHAT THE FUCK BITCH!? Are you fucking crazy? You're super fat and
pregnant… okay, I can live with that, but you wanna lie about those things and think you can lie your way into our hearts. Ahhh how sweet. Well, Big Fat Justice here has this to say about that "FUCK YOU, YOU FAT FUCKING LYING CUNT."

She is definitely a zero.

Oh I lied about my nine-inch cock, so sorry.

The End. Eek Eek!

First, this chick isn't honest with her potential viewers, so how can
she expect honesty from "the one"? Second, she's not honest with herself. When I read her "stats" I came away with the thought that she was confused about who she is and that she doesn't even know herself, so how can she expect someone to want to get to know HER?!

Moving on to the physical realm, her picture is not...er, how shall we
say..., well, NOT, picturesque. Her ENTIRE HEAD takes up the majority
of the photo area. I've seen better ALTERED photos of Walter Cronkite in drag. Come to think of it, she sort of looks like she could be his
granddaughter... Same watermelon shaped and sized head...hhhhmmmm. But, I digress...

Okay, poor spelling, lying, and NOW she JUST found out SHE'S PREGNANT!
What gave it away tubby? That you spread your taco wide enough for any guy desperate enough for sex to jack off near?! PLEASE! You MEANT to get pregnant, because nobody loves you and nobody ever will. You decided to MAKE someone to love you, but even THAT'S going to backfire on you! You're going to be a shitty parent, the kid's going to be fucked up, and you're STILL going to be alone. But, by that time, you will be even FATTER than you already are and you'll just have to settle for poor masturbation. That is, when you are able to find your cooter under that 10" flap of gut that's covering it.

THAT'S the rant!

Oh, and my rating is 0.

Dave-O-Meter Rating: Maybe If I was drunk.

The only reason that she is even a consideration is if you look real
close she could be Rush Limbaugh's love child and that is nothing but bank!