Eddie

2

O NO U DIDUNT! I JUST GOT 2 SAY Q PASA WIT DIS GIRLY. YO I A FILLIN DAT.
WIGGIDY WAC JAC DONT TALK BAC. DOWN WIT DA COOL TRAIN AN ALL DAT.... HAHA NAH LET ME STOP.... I A COLD CHILLIN ON DIS ONE. SHE SPEAK ENGLISH LIKE A HIP HOP HOR. SHE IS D TO DA U TO DA M DUM. IF U LIKE DA CRAZ E JIVE AND UNDERSTAND WHAT DA HEY I JUST SAID. THEN GIVE DIS GAL A HOLLA. AS 4 ME I WILL JUST HAVE 2 *POOF*. GET YA HANDS IN DA AIR LIKE YA JUST DON'T CARE.
HEY HO... HEY HO ... I OUT ... PIECE

I will give her a 2 for the number of words she spelled correctly.

James

Are you kidding me?! Anyone who actually speaks like this, is either just
fucking around, or is the reason that all the racial stereotypes exist. Either
way, it sucks. Her ad alone is bad enough to warrant delving into negative
integers, but combined with a crappy cropped pic, it all adds up to a ZERO! Have
I mentioned that I hate dumbasses that don't have an individual picture of
themselves, so use some piece of shit where they cut out someone else, leaving a
dismembered arm hanging there?! Well, I do hate it, just for the record. I feel
better now!

Okay, we've got two options here. Either ship this chick off to some militant school for English composition or remove her ovaries. Can somone explain to me how this mental microbe makes 50-75K a year without sexually servicing AIDS infested Haitian drug lords? I fail to see any redeeming value in this candidate at all. The only thing that saves her from a one rating is she doesn't seem to be overtly evil, or Medusa's twin.

This one needs to be neutered so as not to infect the population with her offspring. She is so stupid that she makes me weep for all humanity. By the way, what the fuck can a high school grad with no college do to make up to $74,999 a year? Hmmm... Makes me wonder. It can't involve anything to do with brains. She must not live in a "Right to Work" state. She intersperses her own little jargon with the other secret shitface language to give herself a false sense of importance. The world would be better if she were not in it.
Final Score: .7

Hit one too many times with both the ugly and dumb
stick. Sorry porky, can't speak, don't get any points,
0.

“Slightly Overweight” my asshole, this is a fat chick. Steer away from this one
guys. “I BE A PHAT CHIK DAT KANT SPELLE WURTH A FUK, ANS I DONTS USE ANYS PUNKUATION IN ME ADS. QUE PASTA? I DO LUV ME SOME SPAGGETTI.” Enough of the Ebonics crap. Does this girl think that anyone is dumb enough to believe that
she makes $50,000 to $74,999 again I say my asshole. Her picture sucks her ad
sucks and I can only imagine how many boxes of “Hot Fires” she sucks down in one
sitting. I wouldn’t come close to doing this chick even if everyone in the world
wouldn’t know about it. She gets a 0.5 for the ad itself and a 0.5 for a
horribly disgusting picture for a grand Ebonics total of “WUAN” or as we more
educated folks might say “1”.

I can unequivocally say I would NOT do this chick. NOT EVEN with a strap on. Her ad makes no sense (not a surprise) and she just sounds stupid. She is dumb, fat, and ugly. I give the same rating as Scott. .5 for the ad; .5 for the pic = 1.

The Dave-O-Meter Says: Probably if I was Drunk

After a careful re-re-re-reading of this ad the only thing that I can say is this chick and James need to go on a date. Not because I think they would get along, but because I would like to see James try to not strangle her in the first 10 minutes.