| The Couch Pirates get a kick out of looking at personal ads on the internet and comparing notes. Since none of us agree on what attributes create the perfect woman, it can be entertaining to rate them according to our own tastes (we also encourage sniping at each other). Rating is on a 1 to 10 system and includes both looks and the ad. |
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Eve Looking For Adam
Texas born and raised. I am looking for a guy who loves the LORD and puts him first! I am: honest,funny,and enjoy everything from camping to watching movies! I love a guy who can make me laugh but knows when to be serious. If you are looking for someone who is spontaneous, fun-loving and has a heart of gold then I am the one! Email me- you can never have too many friends!
February 27, 2002
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| Dave |
4 |
I would give this god-lovin' lady a 6, but she wants someone with God as number one in their lives. As Pump would say, I'm a pagan. And besides, any woman that would wear a shirt like that should die!! |
| James |
2.7
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My rating? Please. This chick is chubby, has a floral print top on, AND uses the lord in all caps.
She gets a 2.7
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| Pump |
5.5 |
"Heart of gold" references are verrry suspect to me. Eve seems like an affable type. She strikes me as a girl who likes shitty girly things (like most of them do). She seems to care about her appearance. What intrigues me from putting her a 2 or a six is the K-Factor, KIDS!!! Would I mount her? Sure. Would I tell you? Maybe. Would I brag? Doubt it. Lastly, the whole WWJD stuff is not what I want a broad to lead off with. I'll say >5.5<-- until I find out if she has reproduced or not.
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| Rickey |
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| Scott |
2.5
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This is a chick that is ready to put out on the first date. She tries to hide her desires behind a religious blanket. Does she love GOD, you bet she does. She also loves a nice hard one between her legs (the bigger the better) after a dinner at the Golden Corral. Does she want a man that loves GOD too, sure. But she also loves a man who likes to eat the Pooty pie as well. Like most girls she is playing the game of telling you what she thinks you want to hear. She does want a man with some money but more important is a guy ready to hump. I would rate this girl a 2.5. Since I do think with my cock I would take a blow from her, and maybe (depending on her attitude) might give her ride on the bone rollercoaster. Unlike everyone else I don't mind the loving GOD part, because I love GOD too, and he loves all of you as well.
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| Steve |
4
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Would you Dave?
He WOULD!!
As a matter of fact, I would only do her if she KEPT THAT HOT SHIRT ON!!!!!!!!!
This is the sort of ad that 30 something women put on the net to try and find 60 year olds on the prowl. How do I know that you ask?
You have to watch the code words of the singles ad.
"Puts The Lord FIRST" = " I am Not a street walker so I don't put out for anything less than a weekend in Rush Springs or a new car"
"Texas Born and Raised"= " I am easily confused and believe that there is a man that lives in my refrigerator just to turn the light on and off "
"Everything from camping to watching Movies" = " My ass has seen nothing but couch for the last 10 years"
"Spontaneous, fun-loving and has a heart of gold" = "If you buy me enough stuff, you might see some Anal action."
"You can Never Have Too Many Friends"= "Lower Income Men Need Not Apply"
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| Kevin |
5 |
Eve's just not my type. She scores some points for doing well with what she's got and she looks like a nice girl (if that's what you're looking for). She loses points for the bible references and camping. I can't wait to see what James says. |
| Steph |
2 |
Okay, I have to chime in here. This chick is FAT, UGLY, has BAD hair and the only way I would fuck her is with James' dick, because it would be funny. And to make it funnier, I'd tell everyone about it.
If you have to talk about the LORD in a personals ad and how you want to get laid (subtly said), but then tack on some bullshit about "friends" because you are afraid of not getting sexual interest replies, then you are pathetic. If she was someone who actually USED her brain (I know that's a new thing for Christians), she might know that she isn't going to find someone with "a heart of gold."
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