Dave

9

Badda-bing!!!! We have a winner! She is a 9. She is absolutely gorgeous. The only reason she doesn't get a 10 is because she sounds more like a beatnik than the slutty woman I'm looking for. But she is rather attractive. I love her. 9!!!!!

8

I'm suspicious of this chick. She seems fairly intelligent, and is quite attractive. Where are the hidden flaws? Anytime something seems too good to be true; it is. I suspect there is something about her that you would discover upon meeting her. She's a conspiracy nut, bombs abortion clinics, or watches Full House, something is fishy. I have a nagging feeling there is a scary dark side waiting to be revealed. Her ad strikes me as someone who has recently graduated or is still attending college, and is using the writing style she used on her Letters degree term papers; flaky, and ass-kissing for the professor. The "people of all ages" thing makes me wonder if she's banging her professor. Based solely on the information given, I'll give her an 8, until I find out if she used to be a man.

9

This seems almost too good. Her attitude is fantastic. She appears to successfully walk the fine line between snotty and confident. On top of that, she is a knockout. Dark-haired, trim, and oh so saucy. The cherry on the sundae? No kids and doesn't want any... I wuv her. She gets a 9 only because she would likely not talk to any of us (me in particular).

7

Finally, a woman that deserves some attention. She sounds intelligent, creative (a quality I have little of, so naturally I look for it in women), and is not bad looking. Looks get her a 6 + 1 for personality, I give her a 7.

6.5

Okay this girl seems to have it all together or does she? She has the hot looks and the above average personal ad, but like my follow Couch-Pirate Pump would say, "this just seems like a trap." I wanna rate her high but theirs something that tells me this girl is a trap. Maybe she has herpes, maybe she likes to role-play in bed that you are her real father and she has been a naughty girl (because somewhere along the line this has happen to her before), or maybe she's just a strict vegan. I don't know what it is but something scares me about her. On pure looks and ad I give her an 8 and on the possible weirdo scale she gets a high 7 (which is not good). So add all this together and factor in her miss-shaped head and I give her an overall 6.5.

Congratulations to my very first Manute Bol Anal Revenge Award recipient! Any excessively conservative slag, this uptight, deserves to be anally deflowered in the most obtuse manner available. Immediately!

Woe! Woe, I say, to the poor sad sap that gets drawn in by this succubus' looks and is forced to spend a life of servitude and celibacy to please this "lovely queen's" extremely high maintenance issues! And who is she looking for? Some guy, named Thane or Tad, with great teeth and next years 'benz model who is the son of a corporate lawyer, who went to law school himself but couldn't pass the Bar and lives off his allowance which he spends on cocaine and hookers behind everyone's back, but who will eventually inherit his Daddy's money…and to him I say…Woe!

"Doesn't have kids and doesn't want any?" No shit! She's the Terminator baby! Cyborgs with nueral-net processors don't reproduce!

Tell you what…instead of taking this salt-and-vinegar vagina out on a date (yeah, like you've got a chance!)…take 10 bucks out of the ATM, go to your local fine adult book store, pick up the latest issue of Hustler, a box of Kleenex (the kind with the lotion and the vitamin E!) and a Route 44 Cherry Coke, with extra ice, and head back to your house for some self-loving that no therapist can ever give you! Your wiener will thank you. The world will thank you.

9

Wow! This one's a little hottie. On physical appearance alone she's a 10, but now we have to talk about what she's said in her ad.

Firstly, she's HIGH MAINTENANCE and that brings her rating down to a 2. Secondly, she uses good sentence structure, syntax, spelling, grammar and all that, so that moves her back up to a 9.

Now, the content isn't so good. It's lacking in substance. She's saying things that just are not realistic and this shows that she's very immature, which brings her back down to a 6. She's also most likely underage, but I don't know whether it's 18 or 21. Probably both, BUT she's definitely got that "I'll do just about anything in bed and I'm very, very naughty" look, so she whips back up to an 8. The piece de la resistance is that she doesn't want to reproduce, which gives her that final point advantage.

Heh-Heh

As Art Bell might say "Oh my!". Well she's good looking, and has a good body as well. That ZOOM thing she's doing with her hands kinda freaks me out, but perhaps that just goes to show how limber she is? Is anyone REALLY emotionally secure? I doubt it. Something tells me with this girl you'd better bring your Visa Card, because your American Express might not be enough. I honestly think you'd have to be a jock in order to date her, she's not looking for husky love (as Steve would say...) so I think Big Men need not apply, but yeah if she was willing, I'd do her. Who wouldn't?